[Gunnwesley] Fic: Kungai Part Five 2/20 (Wesley/Gunn, NC17)

[helenraven]

Title: Kungai Part Five 2/20

Author: Helen Raven

Email: helenraven at talk21.com

Pairing: Wesley/Gunn

Summary: The full history of the relationship between
Gunn and Wesley in the Birthdayverse. A novel in six
parts.

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit, not even a blip
on the litigation radar.

The Story's Home Page: http://www.kelper.co.uk/kungai

-----------------------

Angel was lucid on Thursday night, and was sitting in
his corner reading when Gunn gave Wesley a long kiss
and then left for Caritas. Wesley hadn't tried to
explain the new rules to Angel; "once a week" would
mean little to Angel, and "Thursday evenings, if
you're lucid" would probably get Wesley thrown across
the room. Gunn hadn't decided yet how much he was
going to ask Wesley about Angel's reaction, how
pleased and surprised Angel had been.

Matt was the only one at the table when Gunn arrived
and Gunn didn't go straight to the bar to get beers
but went over to ask about the others. Matt said it
looked like they weren't coming.

"Both got problems at home?"

Matt shook his head, pulling an unhappy, resigned
face. "Problems with me. We had a big argument, um...
Tuesday."

"Yeah?" The boys arguing about more than top-10 songs
or films or games? "Buy you another beer if you tell
me about it?" A smile and a nod from Matt.

"So what's up?"

"I've got a girlfriend. She doesn't know about any of
this..." A gesture round the bar, at the stage. "And
I'm not gonna tell her."

"Why's that?"

" 'cos it might freak her out. I don't wanna make it
like this big test for any girl who ever dates me."

Gunn shrugged. "Doesn't have to be. Meet a girl here,
she already knows."

"Man, you must not notice girls at all. Couldn't meet
more than thirty new girls here, not in a year. And a
girl I want to date. Who wants to date me... Been
comin' here for three years - I've figured out now
it's never gonna happen. And the same three years
there've been four, five girls from, y'know, classes,
the beach. 'n' I never did anything 'cos I just
couldn't see how to fit them in."

"Yeah. OK." Gunn nodded slowly, seeing Matt's point.
"So why're the guys pissed at you? You took them
through the math, right?"

Matt looked really unhappy. "Well, there's more math.
Like... what happens with the tours and the singing
and Piriti's nest when I'm seeing Holly two, three
times a week. I wanna -" A sigh. "She came over on
Monday for the day. First time. She surfs. She's at
UCLA. She's into... what different animals do with
their energy. What they have to do to get it in the
first place. She really sees things."

"Sounds cool." Gunn was remembering his first real
evening alone with Wesley, realising for sure what
he'd only guessed before: that he'd never met anyone
like this. Exciting. God, yes. Big difference with
Matt, though, was Matt had someone he could tell it
to.

"Yeah. So she asked about the weekend 'n' I said I had
a family thing. So we're doing Monday again. But we've
only got vacation for another couple of weeks and then
- There's not enough evenings. There's not enough
Sundays. 'n' I don't want to be lying to her, anyway.
'bout the other evenings. Not like we're a couple or
anything, not like she's lookin' to move in, but I
don't wanna feel like I'm always... keeping her over
there." He made a chopping movement with his hands,
one hand over the table, the other far over in the
space to the side."

"Y'know, maybe you should tell her, man. If she sees
things, like you said. Hell, what sort of energy would
she see here? The guys'd like her, wouldn't they?"

All of a sudden Matt was really angry. Maybe not at
Gunn personally, but definitely at someone. "Knowing
about demons isn't the only thing about a person. It
isn't that important. Y'know I love the guys, but -
I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life waiting for
the one girl in ten million to walk down those steps.
And jerkin' off over -" A deep breath, then he shook
his head hard. "Not gonna do that. Just because
someone brought me here as a joke, when I was still
practically a kid, 'n' I got hooked on karaoke for a
couple of years."

"So you're what...? Done with karaoke? Droppin' the
tour business? Just like that? You've only been datin'
for a few weeks. Not even a couple, you said."

"Yeah, but I been thinkin' about this all year,
'specially since... you told us about you and Wes."

"What about us?" What the hell had he told them? Jeez,
not about leaving his crew? No, course he hadn't. And
that was different anyway. He'd known by then that he
was in love with Wesley, they both did. And he had to,
because of Angel. "What's that got to do with
anything?"

"Well, 'cos... you used up your one in ten million
chance. Hundred million, maybe. Yeah, fair bet that
you'd meet soon enough, I know there's fifty guys,
max, do anything like you do. So let's say five of
those're gay 'n' - C'mon, how long'd you been
looking?"

"Wasn't like that. I wasn't looking. We weren't. We
just found that... it worked."

"I know. Y'look like it shouldn't but -" A sigh. "So.
Yeah. Been thinkin' more and more that somethin' was
missing. Still havin' a blast with the guys but... I
want someone I can talk about the way you talk about
Wes. Dunno yet if that'll be Holly. Done the right
thing, though, in making a start."

"So how d'you tell them? On Tuesday. You told them
about her before?"

Matt shook his head. "Made it sound like I'd been
bowled over by her out of nowhere. Didn't tell them
any of that stuff I'd been thinkin' Nothin' 'bout you
'n' Wes. Said I didn't know what evenings I'd have
free from now on. Or not until I'd figured out Holly's
routine. Y'know, round her classes, other friends.
Guess I made it sound like she was pushin' me around
and she's not, it's me who's... Man, I am so out of
practice at dating, figurin' out the give 'n' take
with someone I barely met. But yeah, next month or so
it all fits around her. And even after that I don't
see how I'll be able to take on any tours. Not with
those hours. But they just need someone who can drive.
Who's cool with Hull demons and Chachaspe demons." A
sigh. "And who'd do it for ten bucks and a bowl of
noodles."

"Hey!" Gunn acted indignant. "Who's been showin' you
my resume?" They laughed but Matt soon turned serious
again.

"Would you really wanna do it? It's just driving. I
know you're used to more. Money, too."

Gunn shrugged. "I'll help out. Least I can do. While
they look for someone else."

"God, that would - I know I'm really lettin' 'em down.
Piriti..." Matt was shaking his head. "Grouw's just
pissed at me, thinks I'm being a gutless, selfish
jerk. But Piriti... Grouw 'n' I knew the tours were
just a game. Like workin' on a new song. Teachin'
Piriti to surf. Might not have much at the end,
but..." A shrug. "Got some great stories. Never
realised Piriti saw it as... Dunno about 'his ticket
out' but... Some kind of big chance to prove
something, him and Solito. Don't see him forgivin'
me."

Gunn nodded. "I'll call Grouw tomorrow. They're really
not gonna show tonight, are they?"

"No."

"Guess you don't wanna sing?"

"God, no."

"Wave-Race sound any better? We could get pizza, if
you haven't eaten."

Matt was already nodding and draining his beer, and
ten seconds later they were on their feet and heading
for the door.

They got close to breaking into Glacier Coast. It was
that stupid, bending tunnel in Port Blue - they could
neither of them handle the curves except by sheer
luck, and it kept knocking them out of the game. If
they could just sit down for two hours (or four) and
do nothing except run that tunnel... But they could
only get to it by running the rest of the course. Next
time, they'd crack it next time - Matt said he'd call
when he knew he had an evening free. Matt hadn't said
anything about introducing Gunn to Holly some day -
was Gunn too hard to explain without bringing in the
"D" word?

Gunn didn't get home until gone midnight. The
apartment was nearly in darkness, and Angel and Wesley
were both asleep and dreaming. Angel was enjoying his
dream, but Wesley was fighting something, and hard. He
fought Gunn when Gunn tried to hold him (fighting like
he thought he had two arms) and then suddenly he was
awake, looking up at Gunn and gasping.

"Some dream, English. What were you fighting? Anything
I know?"

"I - I - I can't remember. I think it had tusks. Did I
wake you up? I'm sorry."

Gunn shook his head. "Just got in. Ended up 'round at
Matt's, playing that racing game."

"Oh. At Matt's. I thought they must have been singing
everything they knew. Maybe got into a competition.
They have those, don't they?" Wesley was reaching over
to get his glasses. He sounded tired, not really
awake.

Gunn shook his head, pulling a face. "Won't be doing
any singing for a while." And he told Wesley about
what Matt was doing. It was meant to be the short
version but Wesley asked questions and Gunn did want
to talk. He hoped that Grouw and Piriti would calm
down, that they'd find a way to stay friends - like he
had with the crew (eventually). He'd help out with the
tours, keep in touch with Matt.

Wesley was smiling at him. "I'd never imagined you as
a matchmaker. That's probably why you'll be perfect."

"A matchmaker? God, maybe I would've if I'd know Matt
was looking. I just don't like to think of them
stayin' mad at each other. They're a good team."

Wesley nodded. "Good to us, too. You should definitely
call Grouw tomorrow. Maybe he'll meet you for a drink
after training."

Gunn lay and thought for a while about how things
might go with Grouw, how much he should sympathise,
how much he should put Matt's side. Grouw probably
wouldn't listen, not this soon - especially not to one
human trying to put the case for another human.

"Wes? D'you think Matt is being a selfish jerk?"

Wesley didn't reply for at least five seconds - maybe
thinking, maybe dragging himself back from sleep. "No.
Not really. I suppose he could have told the others
sooner. Before he met this Holly, as soon as he
decided it was that important to him. It would have
been better if they hadn't started the tour business.
But I can sympathise. Most people go through their
entire lives without needing to find out about demons.
That doesn't make them stupid or weak. There's no need
to hold it over them as a test, as if they have a duty
to know."

Would help Gunn to figure out how to talk to Grouw if
he knew what Grouw's attitude was about humans knowing
or not knowing about demons. Gunn had never once heard
Grouw or Piriti joke about humans being clueless about
demons, not like you'd hear in the crew - about the
wrong types of humans, anyway. (Yeah, yeah, OK, about
humans who looked and talked like Wesley. But Gunn bet
the crew thought twice about that now.) Maybe he'd get
further with Wesley's first idea: ask Grouw how Matt
could have handled things better.

Gunn went in a few lazy loops and circles, knowing his
plans could all change with the first word out of
Grouw's mouth. Might not need any "matchmaking" at all
- they might just find they missed each other enough
to do all the work themselves. Yeah, enough planning
and thinking. Forget it. Leave it until tomorrow. Go
to sleep on something else.

Gunn closed his eyes and cleared his thoughts,
imagining his mind as a clear tidal pool. With
barnacles. And anemones and birds overhead, and kids
playing on the next beach over.

Was Angel's good dream anything like this? Maybe even
with the sunshine on the rocks. Did he dream about
being human? Like Wesley dreaming about his arm.
Probably too long ago for his mind to be able to make
it real. What about dreaming that he was free? He must
do that at least sometimes.

"How was he tonight, Wes? Has he got any new
theories?" No reply. Wesley was asleep.

Wesley was up and dressed when Gunn woke the next
morning: at his desk deep in a translation, tracking
down an idea that had suddenly come to him while he
was dozing. He'd made the coffee but hadn't fed Angel
yet, so they did that as soon as Gunn was dressed.
Angel was in a good mood, seemed somehow glowing with
energy, like they'd caught him in the middle of a
workout. Did vampires even have hormones like that? Or
was everything - breathing, erections, everything -
just faked up by the demon?

Gunn waited for Grouw's lunch-break before calling,
just in case Grouw was looking for any excuse to be
pissed at a human, but Grouw was pleased to hear from
him. "I was gonna call you at the weekend. Ask for
your take on what's going on with Matt." They arranged
to meet at the noodle place at half past nine; Wesley
would take the duals someplace else, if they wanted to
be taken.

For the evening's training, Wesley asked for some
practice in hand-to-hand combat. Obviously his chances
in hand-to-hand weren't good but they might not always
be able to avoid it - he might lose his weapon, or get
taken by surprise and have to go in unarmed - and
there must be something that the duals could teach him
that would take his chances from "pitiful" to just
"discouraging". The duals agreed but they insisted on
leaving the hand-to-hand till the last half hour of
the session, and then at the very end they admitted
they'd known Wesley would take so many knocks in the
hand-to-hand that he wouldn't be fit for anything else
afterwards.

Wesley drove himself home for a bath, and Gunn dropped
the duals off at a bar and went to meet Grouw. As Matt
had said, Grouw thought Matt was being a gutless,
selfish jerk, but it was more like "callous,
unrecognisable traitor". The way Grouw told it, Matt
had more-or-less said, "I've finally met a really cool
person, so I don't have to hang out with you losers
any more." Like the only reason they'd ever been
friends was because he'd been too lazy to look for
anything better. Had they ever really known Matt, if
he could act that way?

Gunn said he was sure it hadn't been like that, that
he thought Matt had probably hated having to make the
choice and maybe there'd been times when he'd made the
choice the other way, over other girls he'd liked.
Gunn tried to make it sound like he was just guessing,
but Grouw asked if Matt had told him that. Gunn
shrugged. "Y'read between the lines, don't you? But
it's - Think he came across cold 'cos he didn't know
how to handle it."

Grouw shifted about an inch in admitting that Matt
might have acted weird because he felt weird rather
than because he felt nothing, and then they left Matt
and moved on to Piriti and the tours. Grouw thanked
Gunn for the offer to drive, but said they'd probably
never take him up on it.

"We've got nothing booked. We talked about what we
could do, with just the two of us." A deep sigh, and
Grouw shook his head. "One minute Piriti's talking
about pushing the human market, people like Matt used
to be, who won't be freaked by a Chachaspe hanging out
with a Hull - 'cos they just don't know. Talking about
working up ten more types of tour, about putting the
leaflets everywhere. And then the next minute he's
saying it's hopeless and pointless and we should go
round and take all the leaflets back 'cos he doesn't
want to get a call from some Chachaspe kids and have
to tell the kids we can't do it. You don't wanna get
messed up in that, believe me."

"Whadda you say to him? And whadda you want to do?"

"I say, 'Let's just wait and see. No need to do
anything just yet, either one way or the other.' Yeah,
I'd be happy to drop the whole thing. Can't see it
being fun anymore. But drop it quietly, 'cos... we
decided we already got what we wanted out of it. I'm
not going to let him do it his way, try and make it
like it never happened. Or not yet. It's too soon."

"What if some of those kids do call? D'you want me to
say I'll drive them? Loan them Wesley's car or
something? Or isn't that the help he needs?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe the kids'd say something that'd
help him accept. Or they'd be assholes and he'd be
glad to give it up. We're digging tomorrow. You wanna
come and see what you think?"

For the second night running, Wesley was asleep when
Gunn got home,  though this time Gunn was home before
eleven and the lights were on, including Wesley's
reading-light in the bedroom: Wesley had fallen asleep
over his book.

Wesley didn't wake up when Gunn was taking his glasses
off or sliding the book out from under his hand, but
he must have woken at some point during the night and
pulled the pillows down flat. He was covered in
bruises. Gunn wasn't sure at first how to touch him,
if he should even try, but Wesley soon put him clear.
Afterwards - and it was a long gap because Wesley was
in a very lazy mood - Wesley said, "I love the way you
touch me. Even in the few hours of the year when I
don't particularly want sex, your hands always say...
'Everything is right.' "

"Yeah?" Gunn slid his right hand slowly down to
Wesley's hip, still gentle because of the bruises,
though Wesley didn't seem to feel them, just acted
like he was stiff in his muscles. "Well, from where
I'm looking, everything is pretty-damn good. Somethin'
botherin' you? Is it Matt and the boys?"

A pause, then Wesley nodded. "A bit. I've been
thinking of the reasons someone might give up his
closest friends. I don't think I'd ever have the
strength. It must take a lot of courage if you're
doing it for a real reason."

Wesley had been ready to give up Gunn for Angel's
sake. Maybe he'd forgotten. Or maybe it was just so
different from what Matt had done.


-----------------------

Rather read Kungai in HTML or PDF? See http://www.kelper.co.uk/kungai