[Gunnwesley] Fic: Kungai Part Three 18/18 (Wesley/Gunn, NC17)

[helenraven]

Title: Kungai Part Three 18/18

Author: Helen Raven

Email: helenraven at talk21.com

Pairing: Wesley/Gunn

Summary: The full history of the relationship between
Gunn and Wesley in the Birthdayverse. A novel in six
parts.

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Not mine, not for profit, not even a blip
on the litigation radar.

The Story's Home Page: http://www.kelper.co.uk/kungai

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Angel had a vision that night while Gunn was at
Caritas. The mission was relatively easy since they
got to the house in Montebello before the raising
ceremony for the Havelte had even begun. The three
roommates had been after an exotic pet, company for
the girl's monitor lizard, and they'd got (or been
given) quite the wrong idea about the size,
temperament and intelligence of an adult Havelte. They
didn't put up a fight, seemed to think that Wesley and
Gunn and the weapons and the whole idea of the mission
was cool beyond words, way better than having a demon
for a pet. They insisted on helping to carry the books
and equipment out to the truck, were all wide-eyed and
nodding when Wesley gave his speech about keeping
track of them through all the magic stores in L.A.;
but Gunn wouldn't be surprised if they tried it again
and soon, not to get the demon, but to be part of
another mission. Gunn didn't have a speech ready to
deal with that danger, so he gave each of them an
Angel Investigations card. Better to give them an easy
way of getting disillusioned with the demon-hunters,
even if it meant ten or twenty stupid calls or emails.
Gunn went back to Caritas afterwards, and finished his
beer and heard the boys' third song.

* * * * *

The vision of raising the Havelte destroyed the last
of Angel's lucidity, although Wesley kept watching and
waking for all of the next two weeks. Angel might go
back to thinking that Wesley had gone, and if he
didn't hear Wesley's voice, then he might not call. So
Wesley tried to be there every time Angel woke, to
talk to him as proof or reminder. The only direct
response he got was from Angelus, who invited him in
but who was clearly working from his own ideas about
who this Wesley was. Otherwise Angel ignored him, or
showed wordless fear or hostility or mistrust. Wesley
would persist for minutes when ignored, just in case
Angel was hearing him after all.

Gunn guessed that Wesley was waking at least four or
five times a night. If he woke when Wesley was going
to check on Angel, or woke to find the bed empty, then
he'd get up as well. One night towards the end of the
first week, Gunn discovered that the bed was empty
because Wesley was asleep on the couch, lying
full-length under a blanket, and with the receiver
next to him on the coffee table, volume turned up very
high; Gunn carried Wesley back to bed, and then won
the argument about where Wesley would be sleeping in
future, no matter how guilty he felt about waking
Gunn.

In the second week, Wesley stopped shaving and started
falling asleep at his desk. He also lost all interest
in sex; he liked holding and he liked kissing, but
nothing raised his pulse, and Gunn decided it was
better not to try, than to try and fail. Gunn wouldn't
have believed that he could have the all-day sight of
Wesley with stubble and manage to think of anything
but sex but they were both too exhausted. Gunn looked
at Wesley and had the same fierce, tender feelings,
but they stayed in his head and his heart, and what
reached his cock seemed only an echo.

On the Wednesday and the Thursday, Gunn rented movies
and got the food, but Wesley barely ate, not even the
curry on the Thursday, and he saw less than half of
the movies, partly because of Angel, mostly from
falling asleep. Wesley woke of his own accord for the
last few minutes of "Meet the Parents" on Thursday,
looked curious about what was happening, but at the
end asked only if Angel had shown any change while
he'd been asleep.

Gunn shook his head, turned the TV off, and said,
"Wes. Gotta be a way we can accept it's over. With
Angel. Been two weeks now."

Wesley nodded, kept on nodding, frowning like he was
in pain. "I know. I know. But I don't know how to
stop. To stop imagining if there was one last time.
And I wasn't there."

"He wouldn't know it was the last time. Any more than
you would. He'd probably think it was just hours since
you were in there reading with him. He'd know you
wouldn't be gone long. You'd be there the next time."

A long, shaking sigh. "I know. But it's not like when
you made us give up on Hollywood-and-Wilcox. You can't
just pull the truck out and take us home. We're
already home. You could take the receiver away from me
but we need the screen for our own safety. And I don't
know how to make myself stop watching."

Gunn frowned, thinking, then said, "What if I made you
go away for a few days? Not tomorrow 'cos we got
training, but from Saturday. Stay away till the next
training on Tuesday. See if you can make your peace.
And when you come home, treat it like it's a new
home."

Wesley dragged his hand back over his head, then said
slowly, "Yes, it's my best chance. But what if he has
a vision?"

"My crew. Kickin' some demon ass. Havin' me askin' for
help. I'll check with Rondell tomorrow, but I know 'em
just fine. Where you gonna go?"

"Um. I think San Diego. The museums should keep me
occupied."

" 'n' the zoo."

Wesley shook his head. "I wouldn't have gone even
before..." A gesture towards Angel's door. "I can
never forget that they're locked in."

"Yeah. Course. You'll call in the evening? Tell me
'bout the museums. All you been doin'." Smiling:
"Pretend you're missin' me?" Knowing Wesley wouldn't
have to pretend, but curious how Wesley would say it.

Wesley slept with the receiver turned off that night,
and he did sleep, and in the morning he shaved. Angel
was in hell first thing on Saturday morning, but
quiet, and Wesley was able to feed him and say goodbye
to him. Gunn carried Wesley's backpack down to the
car, helped Wesley put the top down, and was startled
and then delighted when Wesley turned the embrace by
the door into a kiss, and not a short kiss; there was
no one to see, but still, they were definitely in
public.

After the kiss, Wesley held Gunn even tighter, then
whispered in Gunn's ear: "My love. My love. I'll be
more worth living with when I come back. I promise."

"Wes. We all will. And you weren't - Was difficult to
watch, that's all."

Gunn stood on the sidewalk looking in the direction
the car had gone, until it must have been halfway to
the 110. Then he turned and went up to the apartment,
to start finding out what it was like to have sole
responsibility for a vampire seer.

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Rather read Kungai in HTML or PDF? See http://www.kelper.co.uk/kungai