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Mr. Dinwiddie's Birthday
by afrai

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"You may cut the cake now, Bursar, if you please," said Ridcully.

The Bursar smiled nervously, and lifted the knife. The wizards had just got him on metal utensils, and were hoping to reduce him to one dried frog pill a day.

The knife came down with a squish.

As the many-tentacled Thing spilled out, covered in banana and toffee, Ridcully sighed.

"There, take him away," he said. "Dean, kindly remove your finger from that icing. We'll have a round of fireballs, I think, gentlemen.

"Save that knife, Stibbons," he added. "Better luck next year, eh? Right. One, two, three--"

End.

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