chirachira - Rukia, l33t art33st

"Like you have a right to talk, tattoo boy," said Rukia, as rabbitscapes bloomed across his arm, and "Fuck you," said Renji, but she hadn't been top in kidou for nothing and fuck -- "Don't move, idiot, it'll smear."

moonsheen - Hisana/Byakuya, curtain call

"They're for windows," he says, and her look as she fingers the cloth will stay with him long after she is dead -- please be patient with me, my lord, a sea of scarlet fabric and so much fear.

lacewood - Kurosaki family, roadkill, GO!

"Brother!" shrieked Yuzu as Ichigo catapulted through the window; "What do you think you're doing, you senile idiot?" said Karin, but "Being reduced to roadkill builds character!" said their father unruffled, even as they heard the car zoom past outside.

("Thanks, getting up close and personal with the Doppler effect is really going to help me in school," Ichigo said later -- but that was before he kicked Isshin in the face.)

cygny - Chad/Ichigo, wet

He wasn't used to it, having someone there, but in time he learnt to depend on it -- the rain on his face, the bone-deep weariness of the world, then beside him, in the giant hand silently outstretched, a towel.

theyellowvespa - Isshin, best

"And then, O my Best Beloved, the Mariner took off his blue canvas breeches, and because he was a man of infinite resource and sagacity, he had remembered to provide himself with protec -- ow Ichigo did you have to hit daddy so hard."

stormantia - Renji and Kira, comfort

In a graveyard, somewhere in the Soul Society:

"B-b-but a kick in the back is not generally considered comforting, Abarai-ku -- ow!"

"Heh. Fuckin' wuss."

ruthi - Chad/Ichigo, hat

"Lean down," said Ichigo. Chad did it without thinking, with a small inner sigh, as a man might sigh while lowering himself into an armchair after a long lonely day's work. This was Ichigo's gift to him: the luxury of trust, given unthinking and blind. The first look had been enough.

Ichigo placed the hat on his head, fixed it there with a push and tug, and stepped back to consider the effect.

"Lookin' good," he said, and grinned the quick sharp grin of complicitous youth; Chad looked gravely back, and there he was, just like that, in all his silence and size -- there he was, someone just like Ichigo.

jamjar - Byakuya, Ichigo, Rukia, Renji. Keyword: fruit.

On Rukia eating a peach, one morning when the sun is on her hair and in her eyes so that she squints, swinging legs dispersing vast populations of dust motes, and it is almost as if she had never left the alley, never been bleeding and heartbroken and lost in a night of rain:

"What the fuck, Rukia, that was the last one! Karin'll pitch a fit!" says Ichigo.

Do I dare to eat a peach, Renji doesn't think; he has not had the right kind of education for it.

Byakuya sees her across a court and looks at her, until she notices him and pauses, complicated emotion breaking across her in a wave. He feels tired, turns away -- there is nothing, he thinks, to stop him from forgetting, but his own mad obduracy.

kamuishokuto - Hanatarou, shiny

"It's shiny," he said, his voice even more embarrassingly high and wavery than usual. Because he could not say, "This is the first time anyone's ever given me a birthday present"; because there were, in fact, no words for the pleasure of being noticed, of being remembered, "it's shiny," he said again, the only thing he could come up with, and for the first time in his life that was enough.

moonsheen - Renji! Brats.

It was the fifth moronic explanation of the principles of elevated fiscalism that made Renji snap. Politicians tended to assume that somebody with his tattoos would know shit about economics.

Unfortunately for them, they also tended to assume that professional ethics would keep somebody with his tattoos from punching their front teeth in.

"Next time, try opening a fucking textbook before showing up for an interview, asshole -- argh! What was that for?"

"Idiot," said Rukia evenly. "That's the third story you've knocked out this week. Our editor's going to kill us."

Renji grinned.

"Guess we're gonna have to dig up a hell of a scoop for Big Brother, then," he said. "I have a friend in Shell says there's something funny going on with the accounts . . ."

Rukia was already half-out the door.

"Oi, bitch!"

"Try to keep up, Renji -- "

"Bitch! That Pulitzer's mine!"

moonsheen - Byakuya. Hisana. Desk.

There was something postmodern to Hisana -- a stray shred of narrative blowing in from some other plane, disrupting the straightforward poetry of his existence.

He woke in his study to see her standing at the desk, tracing the device carved into the polished dark wood. She was decently clothed, shevelled; it was as if last night had not occurred. There's a secret to it, he said. She pressed the tips of her fingers to the right panel and it slid open; hidden drawers popped out; secrets disgorged. She made it look easy, as if you had only to ask.

He watched her, arousal a bitter burn in the pit of his stomach. He did not ask.

semiramis_mei - Rukia, artichoke, anthropocentrism.

In her old age, Rukia took to philosophising to an Ichigo beaten by time into bored tolerance.

"A return to humanism, he says," she said. "But! I am not human. Why should I look at the thing from his point of view? Why should I not adopt the perspective of, say, this artichoke?"

"For one thing, you've eaten half of it," Ichigo pointed out.

"Only the weak refuse to accept that life is pain," said Rukia with dignity. "Pass the sauce."

lacewood - Urahara and Yoruichi! Word... opium

They played for a while at being opponents, but did the thing decently, as old friends should: she killed several of his underlings, but did it briskly and without cruelty, though it went against her nature; in retaliation he knocked her out with a crate of the finest opium and delivered her to her enemies, but offered her no other insult.

half_sleeping - Zaraki/Unohana; get over it

"I assure you, Captain, we only want your recovery," said Unohana, tightening the last restraining strap.

"Oh yeah? What I want is your fu -- your fu -- your g-g-g-goshdarn guts for garters what did you do to me, you crazy woman?"

"Well, we cannot always get what we want," said Unohana placidly. "For instance, what the other patients want is for you to be removed from at least this building -- preferably the world. Minor behaviour modification is only a stopgap measure."

"Sugar."

half_sleeping - Yachiru, Nemu; candy

"Kidneys are replaceable," Nemu said, "friends are not" -- it was difficult to tell what Yachiru thought of the matter, but she was certainly feeding well.

memlu - Isshin and Masaki, dusk.

The day after Ichigo leaves, all the ills of the world flood the clinic. Isshin only manages to get away at dusk. He buys a bunch of flowers and walks up to visit her alone.

"Looks like I've brought up a hero," he tells her. There are many things neither of them could forgive the other -- Masaki: his habit of leaving his clothes on the floor, taste in clothing, unavoidable absence when Karin and Yuzu were born; Isshin: her bruise-inflicting restlessness in sleep, tiresome interest in newspaper ads, death -- but he's never lied to her before. They loved each other anyway. Love.

He hopes she is not too sad, too angry. Heroes die young. She knows that first-hand, of course.

Also for memlu: bonus Ikkaku/Yumichika, because I too know what it is to want fic and not have it.

Yumichika smoothed a thumb under the proud line of Ikkaku's eyebrow, licked the red off the pad in a gesture languorous, dreamy, indifferent as a poem: "you practised that, didn't you," said Ikkaku; "beauty comes from effort," said Yumichika with dignity.

("Cherry?" said Yumichika.

Ikkaku looked grumpy. "You're right, blood coagulated.")

Anonymous - Rukia and Renji as kids. And keyword "giggle"

"I'm not letting a girl into the group," said Renji, "girls giggle."

The others looked puzzled.

"But Rukia doesn't giggle."

"Yeah, she does," said one, remembering. "Like that time she kicked Renji off the roof."

"And when she almost drowned him in the river!"

"And the time she stole his clothes and sold them to a merchant and Renji had to hide in a tree until we could get -- "

"Shut up!"

For autophanous, on Urahara/Yoruichi

He keeps trying to palm off skimmed milk on her. The next time he tries it, she's scratching his smarmy ass.

moonsheen - ...Hisana and Renji. Awkward.

"More tea, Abarai-san?"

"Uh, yeah, sure."

Renji was trying to keep his eyes away from his captain's wife, but he looked up despite himself. It really was amazing how much she looked like --

"So Hisana hears Abarai-san has come to ask for her sister's hand in marriage."

Renji spat out a mouthful of tea. Hisana whisked her hem calmly out of the way.

"It was a bet!" And Hisagi was going to regret ever thinking of it, if it was the last thing Renji did --

"Ah. So Abarai-san does not wish to marry Hisana's sister?"

"I didn't say tha -- " He cut himself off too late. Rukia's terrifying sister smiled.

"If Hisana could voice a desire, without presuming to make any demands," she said, "she has always wanted a niece."

frogdance - Renji and Rukia. Airguitar.

"You look like a fool," said Rukia.

Renji left off strumming to point at her: "You shut up. If you think I'm gonna lose to Ichigo in anything -- "

"I could not care less if you bested him in the art of playing an invisible musical instrument or not!"

"Yeah, yeah, save the acting for the audition, bitch," Renji said, and launched into his solo.

elenayuan - Byakuya x Hisana, wedding night

Since the heir would marry, he must marry with all due pomp and ceremony. But neither affection nor graciousness were required to maintain the dignity of the house, and the assembled blank faces of the clan would have daunted any lesser being.

Hisana's head was bowed as she walked past them, and seeing her, Byakuya felt a pang of concern and impatience combined. Doubtless she deserved better: but did she already begin to fail him; would she show herself to be less than he had thought her? He would love her still, but how wearying, to have one's expectations of inadequacy always fulfilled --

She looked up at the touch on her shoulder. Her eyes were unafraid, even amused.

"My lord," she said. These things must be endured, said her eyes. Do not let it disturb your equanimity.

"My lady," said Byakuya. The small weight of her hand in his was like the first time he had grasped the hilt of his sword, and known her name.

* * *

That night, the first time since their engagement that they had been alone, he turned to her and did not know what to do. The taste of his own failure was bitter in his mouth. It had been so long since it had last been his own weakness disappointing him that he almost did not recognise the emotion.

Here she came up to him. She put her hands on his, the skin of her palms soft and cold against his knuckles.

"This, Hisana knows," she said, and drew him down.

jamjar - Karin/Byakuya, anniversaries.

"This is the fifth anniversary of the day Ichi-nii got boring and I became a shinigami," said Karin. She dropped a can of beer beside him. "Got anything to match that?"

"... A week from now," said Byakuya. "It will have been seventeen years since the day I first met my wife."

"Fair enough," she said, and grinned as he opened the can of beer: she tasted so often of it that drinking it could make no difference, he reflected.

scoured - Urahara and Tatsuki; flight

"I can make you better, stronger, faster -- "

"No thanks."

This stumped Urahara, but not for long.

"I could make you fly!"

Tatsuki looked out of the window at the front yard, where Orihime appeared to be conducting a serious conversation with a cat.

"Thanks," she said, "but I learnt that years ago."

kamuishokuto - Yumichika and Ikkaku, eye makeup.

"Then you brush a little -- a very little; beauty topples under the weight of excess -- of the powder on the lid of the eye ... "

"You are so. fucking. gay."

Yumichika sighed confidentially at the mirror. "Luckily I am not alone in that -- are you blushing?"

"No!"

"I've always admired your colour," said Yumichika sweetly.

cynic_in_charge - Byakuya/Kanonji, partnership of hell

Hell smelt of rotten eggs.

"Never fear, compadre!" cried Don Kanonji. "With a hero here, nothing can harm you!"

Byakuya looked at him. He looked at the bottomless pit. He considered the pros and cons of being tortured for eternity by red-faced demons with pitchforks and no respect for an ancient lineage.

Well. Since he was here already ...

"Chire, Senbonzakura."

autophanous - Urahara and Isshin, bumbershoots

"And when you open it, it also functions as a projectile weapon!" said Urahara from under his desk. Isshin looked at the remains of his own desk, and spent a good five minutes wishing fervently that Urahara had ducked under that instead.

"I'm calling it the Bumbershooter 2000. What do you think?" his room-mate said hopefully.

Isshin clicked the safety off on the umbrella.

"I think," he said, "I'd like a reload."

Also for autophanous - Urahara/Yoruichi

"A cat," he said.

She stretched, yawned, gave him a long disdainful look as if wondering at his nerve in not being a tin of sardines, and rolled off the mat onto the floor. "Why a cat?"

Urahara gestured, exquisitely. "Doesn't every magician need one?"

jaseroque - Hanatarou/Hisana, waiting

He dropped the cup, because he was an idiot. He was an idiot and he was only from the fourth division and everybody would realise what a bad idea it was to let him wait on Lady Hisana --

White hands took the shards from him, put them away, held up his chin.

"Be courteous," said the Lady Hisana. "But not ashamed. Yamada-san has done nothing wrong."

("That's why," said Hanatarou to a wide-eyed Rukia. "That's why I want to help you save her.")

raynos - Rukia/Hiyori, intimidation tactics

The Barbie struck Hiyori square in the forehead; she jumped back with all the ungainly agility of a young animal and snarled: "Try it," said Rukia grimly. "I have the Magical Cloud Kingdom (TM) Playset, and I'm not afraid to use it."

lacewood - Bleach... heads out to the Wild Wild West, as inspired by Miss X's really cute cowboy!Rukia. <3

Ichigo just barely suppressed a gasp when the butt of the gun shoved into his side.

"I know you," whispered the woman into Ichigo's ear. "You hero types, you come ridin' into town thinkin' you can change things. Got a gold star branded on your heart, don't you? Got a nice girl waitin' for you back home, but for now, you're out savin' the world. Mexican comes up to you with his hat in his hands sayin', 'Senor, please help us,' you say, 'how high?' Easy for you, ain't it?"

"I'm just doin' what I can to get by, ma'am," said Ichigo woodenly. That set her off. The gun ground into him, wrenching a groan from his throat -- then the booted leg slid over his lap, and Ichigo felt his eyes roll back in his head despite himself.

"Don't call me ma'am," she hissed, straddling him, gun sliding up his throat now. "I ain't ma'am to you, I ain't waitin' for a hero to bring me a happy endin', I don't want me no lies. Look at me, damn you!"

His eyes snapped open. Her eyes were blazing dark in her face, skin white like a girl's, though she wasn't. He grabbed her arms, pushing them down --

"Say my name, cowboy, if you dare," she spat.

"Rukia," he said -- and he had to stop there, because he was kissing her, kissing her, fire running along his veins, feeling like the top of his head had come off, and even now her grip on the gun never wavered.

incandescens - Kuchiki Byakuya and Captain Will Laurence

Laurence was conscious that to speak now were to invite the ruin of all their plans, but he could not in all conscience allow such considerations to detain him when witness to such treatment of a dragon; the recollection of Levitas made him more daring than he otherwise would have been, and he grasped Kuchiki's sleeve.

"You shall not walk away without explaining yourself, sir," he said. "I had heard that none can better an Oriental in handling his dragon, but by God, your conduct is poor evidence of that."

"You presume too much, Captain Laurence," said Kuchiki. "It is not your concern, but still I will correct the error into which you have lapsed -- Rukia is not my dragon. My companion was killed five years ago in a skirmish with one of your letters of marque."

"Wishing he could call me out, I suppose, not that I fault him for the sentiment," said Laurence later, recounting the episode to Temeraire. "I almost wish I could give him satisfaction -- such a damned slip."

"I do not think he deserves politeness anyway, he is so very rude," said Temeraire. "And indeed you need not trouble yourself about the way he uses Rukia, Laurence; she says he is not her handler, and he hardly troubles her at all. She says her own handler is much nicer -- that is to say -- " Temeraire paused in some confusion.

"Where is her handler?" said Laurence.

"She did not seem to like to talk about it," Temeraire said. He seemed uncomfortable. "I could not understand her very well, but I am sure I misheard her."

Laurence sat up, concerned. "My dear?"

"I thought I heard her say she had killed him," Temeraire said uncertainly. "But that cannot be right, because how could such a thing ever happen?"