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Father Figure
by afrai

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"And then my godfather died," said Harry.

"Mmm," said Rincewind indistinctly. He swallowed. "Gosh, they really do you well here, don't they? Could you pass me the turkey?"

Harry did.

"It's just, sometimes I wish I weren't the Boy Who Lived," he said.

"It's better than the alternative," said Rincewind. "Trust me on this."

"I don't know what's going to happen," said Harry.

Rincewind stared at him. Then he patted Harry's shoulder.

"That's life," he said. "You go along thinking it's all potatoes and boredom, and one day they spring a Dark Lord on you and nothing's the same again. Well, d'you know what you've got to do?"

"What?"

"Run away."

"I can't run away!" said Harry. "Everybody's depending on me! Anyway, that wouldn't solve anything!"

"It doesn't have to solve anything. It's just got to get you away from the danger for long enough till somebody else solves the problem. I find it usually works with all my Dark Lord issues," said Rincewind. "But I'm sure you know best. Hey, is that asparagus?"

Harry passed him the asparagus.

"Do you think I could get a job here?" Rincewind said wistfully. "I'm good at rocks. I should think they could do with some cruel and unusual geography here, shouldn't you?"

"And I think there's a lack of dependable father figures in my life," Harry said.

"Well, look on the bright side," Rincewind tried. "At least you won't be swallowed at birth by your father and have to be bossed around by your youngest brother for the rest of your life once you get out."

"That's not very comforting," said Harry coldly.

"Well," Rincewind said again. He tried to think, but, "Are those potatoes?"

Harry sighed and passed the potatoes.

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