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The Morning After
by afrai

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"Oi."

Renji cracked an eye open and looked up.

He closed it again.

"Hey, I'm talking to you, dipshit!"

"You have a drink in your ha -- paw? No? What about one of those massager units the 12th division came up with?"

"Do I look like a slave boy to you?"

"I'll take that as a no," drawled Renji. "Not interested. Fuck off."

"Dumbass." Zabimaru settled on its haunches beside Renji where he lay scrunched up on the bench, pretending to himself that his back didn't feel like it was broken in sixteen different places.

"Four drills in a row just to make a point to the division," said Zabimaru. "I trained with you for this bullshit?"

"Funny, I don't remember asking you for your opinion."

"So how much sleep did you get last night?"

Renji didn't speak, but it suddenly felt like a good idea to roll over and turn his face to the wall.

"So," hissed Zabimaru. "When can we expect to see eggs?"

Renji choked. "What the fu -- never!"

"Though your female doesn't really have the hips for laying eggs. Or bearing children."

"Talking," Renji muttered. "You need to stop doing that."

"I've always wanted an infant," said Zabimaru wistfully.

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